10 Questions For Feminist Mothers

I loved reading through the responses to the questionnaire developed by bluemilk and thought I add my views too:

1. How would you describe your feminism in one sentence? When did you become a feminist? Was it before or after you became a mother?

I define my feminism as neither soft nor aggressive. I take the pragmatic approach instead. I pick my battles and only get into discussions with people I care about or that do harm to others. If someone insist on being ignorant about the cause – so be it, as long as they don’t force their Lalaland onto me.

I cannot pinpoint a time in which I realized that I was a feminist. It came to me gradually. Little comments, illogical expectations or plain stereotyping  would make me feel frustrated. Only in recent years did I become a proud feminist. I take not for granted the liberties that courages women fought so hard for to ensure a better future for following generations of women. I see it as my duty and pleasure to help maintain that momentum and continue supporting the cause for equality. How can I say I’m not a feminist when I’m expecting to be treated fairly? For once there is a label I’m happy to adhere. It only seems negative  if you allow others make it appear this way.

I became a feminist well before motherhood.

2. What has surprised you most about motherhood?

The intense feeling of anxiety for my child and my increased vulnerability as a result of this emotion. Read the rest of this entry »

Erotic Brain Exercise With All Senses: Surprise Your Partner

Photo by h.koppdelaney’s

Sex the ideal “Neurobics” workout – too good to be true? But it is true: Sex demands all our senses and the inclusion of the emotional switchboard in our heads. Hearing words or only reading to oneself, reading aloud or quietly activates different parts of our switchboard.

Close your eyes and enjoy

Many “Neurobics” exercises have to do with trying to experience the world in a new sensual way.  Closing your eyes sharpens the other senses. We do this automatically during sex, to enjoy it even more.

Experience senses

Cater to your senses and the senses of your partner with something new: Use aroma oils, listen to music, use massage oil. Read the rest of this entry »

Book Suggestion: The Art Of Travel By Alain De Botton

philosophy
This book is a philosophical take on the subject of travel and explores what we seek when we travel and why we are often disappointed with the reality of travel.

Alain De Botton visits airports, a service station ect. and introduces guides such as Charles Bauderlaire and Edward Hoppe that show us their view on the subject.

Arriving

“(…) I may have noticed a few birds careering through the air in matinal excitement, but my awareness of them was weakened by a number of other, incongruous and unrelated elements, among these, a sore throut that I had developed during the flight, a worry at not having informed a colleague that I would be away, a pressure across both temples and a rising need to visit the bathroom. A momentous but until then overlooled fact was making its first appearance: that I had inadvertently brought myself with me to the island. (…)”

NEXT TIME YOU VISIT A BIG CITY – GIVE IT MORE THOUGHT

10 WAYS TO APPROACH PHILOSOPHY

PHILOSOPHICAL ART PROJECT: TAKE PHOTOS OF OLD AND NEGLECTED BUILDINGS

Read the rest of this entry »

Philosophy Of Love: Five Languages Of Love

Image by biewoef’s

Gary Chapman, a marriage counsellor coined the term ‘five languages of love’ to describe the ways we show affection. With your partner, go through the list and circle the statements that you think you show love with. Does your partner confirm your view? This exercise will give you a different perspective on your partners wishes.

Words of Affirmation

Pays me compliments

Agrees with my decisions

Acknowledges my perspective

Quality Time

Listens to my problems

Shares secrets with me

Joins in with my plans

Read the rest of this entry »

Eight Steps Toward A More Satisfying Life

girl with baloons
Image by woodsy’s

1. Count your blessings (Gratitude Journal)

Related reading: How to get more pleasure in your life

2. Practice acts of kindness

Related reading: Positive Psychology – Random acts of kindness

A surprise at the bus station

3. Savour life’s joys (momentary pleasures)

Related reading: The difference between savouring and flow

Capturing and savouring a happy moment

4. Thank a mentor

Read the rest of this entry »

Into Every Life A Little Rain Must Fall

flower in rain

I’d like to dedicate this poem by Thomas Hardy to M.

The Darkling Thrush

I leant upon a coppice gate

When Frost was spectre-gray,

And Winter’s dregs made desolate

The weakening eye of day.

The tangled bine-stems scored the sky

Like strings of broken lyres,

And all mankind that haunted nigh

Had sought their household fires. Read the rest of this entry »

Treat Me Like A Queen – Because I’m Worth It

painting of a woman

Image from wikipedia

Is it not a hassle that average folk like us have to make an effort to get that special treatment, whereas A-C class celebrities only need to show their tabloid-worthy faces to have an entire restaurant team grovel at their feet eager to fulfill their every demand.

Well, sigh, let’s get over our self-pity and try these strategies to get what we want:

Be kind and considerate, which in a nutshell means likeable

Before making a request, try to connect with the other person. For example by asking them how they are, as people are more likely to agree to a favour if they like you.

Have courtesy

Ask ‘Do you mind’ when asking for a favour and let the other person know how grateful you are for their efforts. Read the rest of this entry »

Did You Ever Have A Job As A Battery Chicken?

plastic chicks

Image by hisks

I don’t know what it is with me – but whenever I ended up in a horrible job, I started to see myself, colleagues and supervisors as animals.

The battery chicken

Once I worked for an IT recruitment company where all employees would sit at close range side by side with a team leader right in front of them. I felt like a battery chicken with hectic and loud clucking sounds all around me. We would sit for hours on our feathery butts, deprived of any kind of personal freedom of expression, trying to produce as many contracts as possible.

If you were successful you had the honour of sounding the company gong as a sign of personal achievement. I still have to laugh about it when I think about the keen Uber-cockerel that had just secured three deals. He would stride up to the gong, head up high and sound the gong three times, with every sound his chicken breast would swell a bit more. Read the rest of this entry »

10 Ways To Approach Philosophy

philosophical garden

Image by Arwenaa

I have to admit, my first attempt at trying to understand philosophy was a disaster. I’ve always been a critical thinking person, keen to understand where popular perceptions originate from. Just because some views are popular and promoted by respected individuals throughout history doesn’t necessarily mean that they are right. So eventually you find yourself looking at philosophy.

A while back a friend of mine asked me to help her to prepare for an exam that looked at different statements made by Immanuel Kant and asked the student to explain the meanings and opinions each entailed. I read the first one, scratched my head and tried the next one only to shake my head and starting to question the quality of my education. I simply didn’t grasp what this man was on about.

Now you can choose to give up and feel intimidated by it all or you look for alternative ways to approach the subject. Guess what, I chose the second option and here are my suggestions: Read the rest of this entry »

How To Talk About Books You Haven’t Read

open book

Usually I would say: “Don’t do it”. It could get really embarrassing. However, if you wish to stay in the conservation for whatever reason you might find the following ideas quite helpful:

Shake off your guilt

Don’t be intimidated if other people seem better read than you. Even the most prodigious reader never has access to more than a minuscule fraction of the books that exist. Comparing yourself to others is, as in many other situations pointless. Read the rest of this entry »